It took me a while to be OK with that (The sculptor part I mean, the other family part I'm pretty comfortable with) and to admit that I am naturally bent towards making art. The first moment I really clicked with sculpting was in the forth grade. The medium was multi colored oil based clay...and...it was fun. Since that first start, anytime I've gone too long not making something, I get really antsy. It wasn't so bad at first during all the growing up years, but the feeling has increased over time. I think the same must be true for most artists. We make art because it fills the gaps in our souls, and not making art leaves us feeling empty. It can be painful.
Even though I felt this urge to make things, as an "adult" I really repressed the idea that I was an "artist". It was such an "unpractical" career, so I determent that I would do other things to make a living and be a "closet artist". Art would be my hobby. That was my pursuit for around the first 5 years of my so called adult life. I pursued not being an artist while doing a lot of other things that I thought might have potential for giving me fulfillment. For a while I just kind of wandered.
My sweetheart Nina and I got married when we were both 21. Man was that a gutsy move...for her. She took a big leap of faith joining up with me. I had no assets, vague future plans, and very mixed ideas of what I was going to do to support ourselves. In the first year of our marriage I had jobs as a landscaper, water meter technician, concrete grunt worked, construction laborer, security system salesman, security system technician and a mover. It wasn't until we had our first little boy Benny that I came to a realization that these dead end and very momentary jobs (the one I was currently working was for a metal pipe fabrication company were I spent eight hours a day cutting pipes at various lengths) were not getting us anywhere. I needed to go to college. I needed skills. I needed something I could offer to the world besides the qualifications of "hard worker" and "gets along well with others". I enrolled in the community college.
Even after getting into college I still wasn't sure what to study. I was still a closet artist, but decided to take at least one art class every semester. Meanwhile my career choices went from mortician, to religion teacher, to construction manager. By the time I earned my two year degree I had decided to pursue the very practical degree of construction management. I guess I thought that maybe I would be able to use my talents as an artist somehow in construction. A year into my program I hadn't taken a single class that really lit my fire, although many seemed to have melted my brain. I realized very slowly that this was not a good fit.
All this time I was praying for Gods help to let me know what to do. I prayed for him to help me figure out what I was made for, what were my talents, what could I offer? I can see now as I look back, Gods hand guiding me to where I am now. It took a long time, but that's because I wasn't ready for where he wanted me to be. I was not committed enough to do what it would take. I finally began to accept the truth of who I was: I'm an artist. I like to sculpt. I changed my major. I started taking art classes and hearing other artists talk about their work. I loved it all. What a contrast. I can't name an art class I had that I didn't love. This felt right.
I've been out of school now for over a year. I worked for over a year at a bronze foundry in eastern Idaho as a pattern maker which was rally a great experience. But during that time at the foundry I learned something very interesting about my self. I always thought that I liked working with my hands. As a pattern maker I worked with my hands every day. I was carving and sanding and sculpting, but it wasn't work I loved. Honestly it wasn't even work that I even liked very much. I learned that I don't like just working with my hands. I love making things that are my own. I love to make my art, in my way and style. That lights my fire. So I quit my job.
It was not a spur-of-the-moment decision. Nina and I saved and planned (most of the plans have changed again and again) and finally I left the stability of a regular income, 401k, and health benefits, to become a sculptor. We packed all we owned and drove home to Eastern Washington. That was June 5th 2015. This is my journey.
Thanks for sticking with me for this first post. I hope you liked it because it really came from my soul. Now here are a few pictures of what I've been making:
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| "The Eternal Balance" 18 inches tall welded steel metal man. The shape of a circle has no beginning or end. It is a symbol of that which is eternal. The figure in this sculpture is walking the shape, involved in a balancing act that has no end or beginning. |
